The Wonderful Minder!

If intending to write poetry, i’d want to have a play, see what came out my fingers and consider what was to say.

Trying to think about this doesn’t really work and brings up more feeling of inadequate depictions, decidedly no-more going into silly descriptions.

Firstly coming from a base of open-ease, letting whats here be noted fully and clearly seen.

The question: “what do I want to share; something of meaning or a ditty of non-care?”

Well as I left work the thoughts that arose, loosing my job and nothing else but self-piteous prose.

They rolled and appeared like as if from a dream: ‘Was I to loose my job; just wanting to let out a frustrated scream.’ Almost scary as it all appears, if not so obviously an unknown, neither here-nor-there tears  un-sewn.

The technique I know is to ‘let it be’, relax with the appearances of mirage like scenes. They come and they go as if traffic on the road, flying by in the dozen I can just let them go. Here comes another one: it looks like the last, first an emotion, then a sensation; a sigh as it passed and next a bizarre elation ‘ooh’ no just another squiggly sensation….

More than two hours the feelings at play, flowing-on-by, pouring out steam as if a freight train, writing text messages from yes, ‘this wonderful minder’, to my boss that it was all fine..err? He could not go into it verbally I’d prefer and would just go, ‘not to worry him’ I could sit without a job and write witty prose!

Finally receiving a call: “hello Sarah, it’s nice to hear your voice, thank you so much for the babies beautiful card, she does love you so, would you like to work for us some more this next week”….(we hope your well and have had a comfortable eek, no need to play out this little girl meek).

Oh, it was not as I thought, no need to go into data as one sought, nothing to look into, or after, all hopes gone, just ‘letting it all be as wisdom shines on.’

Generally the opposite to what one thinks, is the truth of the matter it sinks…

into disarray and paranoid frets, relaxing deeply held, a warm bath we could compare, bubbles popping just settling suds in hair.

Who am I at the end of the day? nothing but the joy of a heart burst in every moments play.

Arn’t we lucky to know we’re not our thoughts, only spacious wonderful minders of benefits easy, laid-back cool, kickback relaxin ‘non-learnings nothin’ super school!’

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‘Potent Speech’

What my illness has given me space to do tonight here on this blog. Thank you random illness of benefit.Image

What I’ve come to recognise is  the nature of oneself as all human beings is seamless. Four and a half years ago now, I was introduced to something about myself that unquestionable increased the ability to know well-being, to the degree that, what I’ve come to see is the purpose of my human life is to contribute to society everywhere with one’s fundamental and innate quality, that’s being realised every moment it’s emphasised for all‘.

The organisation is http://www.balancedview.org and I came across the training through seeing the change in someone close, after they decided to do one of the trainings offered. Within two weeks of seeing the obvious benefits in my friend I joined the core training ‘the twelve empowerments’.

My first impression was  that I was in love. Something was suddenly so clear,  that beyond myself I wanted to know more but the love was not to be mistaken in being outside of myself. I happen to live in the city of ‘Bristol England,’ where this ultimately precious training from ‘Balanced View’ was being offered now and is more and more so a hub of the world in this practice.

It took about eight months of dropping in and out of commitment to recognise this permanent well-being that was coming about, until it was understood, that no longer did I need ‘ups and downs’ to define my reality but only this  continuum of reliable support that the balanced view offer through ‘The Four Mainstays’. For free no less. One being the practice of ‘short moments’, two ‘the training’, three ‘the trainer’ and four ‘the community’. So as I use the trainings, the training media on the website, whilst taking the instruction of ‘short moments, repeated many times’ and relying on my trainer for guidance in how best to utilise the structure. This then progressively enhancing what already is the case for every person but in myself, first.  As unquestionable stability has been gained it’s become natural to share this.

Essentially this is mobilisation of a beneficial source already within everyone and the only way to know this fully in oneself is to speak about it and share it. Deterring from old forms of relating, solely focusing on solutions from being with all human suffering, all of human pain, all of human joy and all of human happiness through the reliance on ‘The Four Mainstays’. An indescribable support that needs to be experienced to be fully known as well-being.

It can be said that my life is significantly better in always and now commit my energy to getting to know the nature of mind with those that want this for oneself.

I have many experiences that can continually affirm this solution oriented lifestyle of ‘The Four Mainstays’ and you are welcome to keep reading this blog if you would like to know more as it’s updated with new insight.

In gratitude in always for being able to say this about my life, as have received the most profound support to bring it into experiential form, daily.  Sarah 24.07.2013

Refreshing friendship…

Refreshing friendship beyond the edges of a rice cracker.

Starting a new job, relying on the simple guide of letting it all be ‘as it is’ with all that arises and falling ill on the third day with a possible virus. So generously shared with me considering eighteen months olds don’t share anything usually. Progressively getting more achy as the night continues, I called upon my house mate for some soda to settle the sickness. All the idea’s ‘is it ok to ask someone to care for me’, independence so tightly clung to as a physical sensation or a thought. Giving up the right to be a victim and proclaiming ‘yes’! When the soda arrives in the light of a half opened door, it opened gently and sprays Xin’s jacket, all the items on my bedside table and myself. I laughed and all Xin could do was self flagellate for being in a rush to open it for me. “No, it’s fine I spill water all the time…I say!”

As I lay in a dark room, I reach my hand down the bed to find my phone in the soft expanse of linen. Finding a basic pleasure resting deeply into all sensations. Xin comes in not answering the phone “do you need something?” “please turn the heating off it’s making me sick”, “Ok, do you need any water?” “oh yer, I’ve just spilt water, please get a tea-towel, the water just spilt over accidentally with the edge of my pillow”- knowing the power of forethought to be noted next time, the learning curve like the edge of a rice cracker. I can see all idea’s flowing between him and me. You want me to clean your side table’ I hear>? “Oh, yes, I’ve spilt my water, can you get a tea towel, Xin”. “Whats a tea towel?” my house friend is Chinese. step by step we care for each other as he wants to help and not get lost in self focused thoughts of ‘why should I, or why do you expect this of me’, and me not wanting to go into self derivation of not asking for care and support when it is needed.

Some hours later Xin (pronounced Shen) knocks and asks if I need anything? not wanting to speak or move but not, not wanting to speak with my friend here, being so kind as to ask if I want water or anything at all. “Yes, could you load me my a film on my usb” (hardly able to sit and obviously optimistic still). “Possibly my rice crackers if you could bring them?” Xin (Maison his English name) leaves and comes back some minutes later with full tray of chocolate covered cookies? I point at the packet and can only utter the words ‘rice crackers’ and in those moments of offering he said “yes but sometimes these can do much better things than you think!” Deeply refreshing to me, I couldn’t stomach a cracker but the sight of a friend offering my sweet tooth it’s desire, without even a hope of eating it, was enough to make me smile inside. Reaching out touching the packet, uttering the word  “brilliant”, laying back down quietly to rest.

It’s the nothing and something that makes humanity what it is.